For those who are caught in the in between and messy middle
This is a love note, poem, short story or novella on peeling back the layers of the world and beginning again. Those who are straddling two worlds and stuck in between. Those who are breaking cycles. Those who are letting go. Those who are shattering the way things are supposed to be done and doing it in their own way. Those who are getting vulnerable. This is for every person who’s doubted themselves, who said yes when they wanted to say no, who has shrunk themselves into the box of someone else’s expectations. This is for the dreamers, the creatives, the artists, the entrepeneurs, the ones who want to do it on their own terms.
You know who you are.
I see you, I believe in you and there is hope. There is light at the end of the tunnel. There is a way out when you break the chains of the chatter of your mind. I’ve spent the last 9 months tuning out the noise and tuning into my being, my knowing and my truth. Nine months of truly leaning into my power. I know the pains. I know the heartache. I know the struggle. I know it’s easier to sucomb then become but I promise you there is light. I promise the air is crisper. The light is lighter. The being is purer when you come out on the other side. It gets easier, lighter, and more fulfilling.
A moment of gratitude
I wouldn’t be here writing this without the beautiful, loving guidance of the one and only Helen. Thank you for seeing me and my depths. Thank you for listening, learning, and getting it. Thank you for redirecting me over and over again back to me. For helping me turn the quiet up and turn the noise down. Thank you for holding space for my highs and my lows. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for sharing with me. Thank you for your invitations and recognition. Thank you for being you. Just thank you from the depths of my being. I am eternally grateful for every redirect, every gentle reminder, every drop in, and every moment. Thank you.
Listen here or continue reading below…
Begin Again…
It was just another Tuesday when my voice disappeared.
The timing wasn’t lost on me
Straddling the abyss of the old and new of my becoming
Afraid to let go
Afraid to become
Caught between two worlds of being
I’ve spent the last 9 months unlearning
Unlearning the shoulds
Unlearning the ought tos
Unlearning the doing
Unlearning the voices in my head
Unlearning the layers I’ve been carrying
I’ve spent the last 9 months
Tuning into my knowing
Tuning into my truths
Tuning into my being
Tuning into my energy
Blocking out the should’s and the ought tos of the world.
Clearing out the clutter
The incessant noise that had permeated my head.
The timing wasn’t lost on me…
The moment was here to make a choice…
My feet spanning two entirely different worlds
My voice abandoned me
As I surrendered to the abyss
Hold on to what was
Repeat, repeat, repeat
Get lost in the inbetween
Doubt, doubt, doubt.
Lean into what will be
Trust, trust, trust – that which you cannot see.
The timing wasn’t lost on me…
Let go, let go, let go and begin again
Let go of what was
Let go of the patterns
Let go of the wrong turns
Let go of the hurt, the resentment, the bitterness
Let go of the grin and grit and bare it
Let go of the projections and rejections
Let go of the expectations and judgements
Let go the pushing and the grinding
Let go of the battling
Let go of the struggle
Let go of the pain
The moment was here to let go
Let go, let go, let go and begin again
To let go of the old
Find gratitude in the lessons
And move forward
Time to shed the weight of the hard shell I had been wearing
The weight on my back
The lobster who’d grown too much.
The shell that’s too small
The shell that’s forced me to shrink
The shell that’s forced me to fit in
A shell that was never mine.
An armor that kept me safe but didn’t let me thrive
Confining, Cramped and excruciating to live in.
It’s time to shed the shell of what was or what could have been
It’s time to shed the good intentions of a life that was never mine
It’s time to shed the expectations, the beliefs, the what I almost was.
The moment was here to let go
Let go, let go, let go and begin again
To sit in the discomfort
To sit in the vulnerable
To step forward
To embrace
The moment was here to lean into the lessons.
The lessons that should have calloused me
But instead gave me understanding
Brought me innocence,
Brought me compassion
Brought me depth…I didn’t know was in me.
A softening…
The moment was here to let go
Close my eyes and trust…myself
Let go, let go, let go and begin again
Begin to lean into
The easing
The breathing
The flow
The potency of my being
Embrace my desires
Embrace my yearning
Embrace my boundaries
Embrace my being, my becoming, my wholeness
Embrace me
Embrace this power that has been in me
Longing to be seen
Longing to create
Longing to be
Longing for freedom
Freedom from the shell that’s kept me small
Freedom from falling into the abyss
Freedom from holding on
Freedom from all that was
Freedom to believe in what can be
And in this leaning
And in this believing
And in this
She found her voice again
She found her soul
Her being
Her belonging
It was in her all along
When she tuned out the chatter of the world
Just waiting to be discovered
She simply had to close her eyes…believe
Her voice was there all along
Within….
She woke up, let go and began again….
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